I dont think this essay is superficial at all. It's a cultural disease, this obsession with looks. I love stairs in my head--the essay and the hairstyle. You are beautiful inside and out.
this "capillary incident" was extremely enlightening - I'm glad you summoned the anger to resist the cultural conditioning which will come for us all if we let it x
This is wonderful, authentic writing, Carlota. Even the most self-loving, enlightened among us, I have a feeling, still want to be seen as attractive and still want what they want. I have struggled with this too. I work out regularly and guilt trip myself into eating a pretty rigid diet. I pretend I don’t care about my thinning hairline (at 40) but wonder if there is anything I could be doing differently to combat it. The aging thing is actually crazy. Feel often like I’m stuck between worlds of caring too much and sometimes not at all. I want to give up in the same way the Buddha gave up.
Another part of me wants to be playful with appearances, like a conscious trickster: not take looks seriously and therefore play around with different styles.... so some days buddha, others trickster :p
This topic is so well known to probably most women and it is refreshing to read your heartfelt and sincere struggle and yet at the same time the lightness and humor in it. How to be ...right? I guess having a big portion of humor about our endless rumbling about pretty much everything will help us along the way.
And thank god hair grows back! I can so relate to your hair obsession but unlike you I never had the perfect hair but I am still chasing the dream of waist long thick hair without any split ends - haha - I decided to let it grow anyway...no matter if it is perfect or not... split ends or not... I want long hair, so I let it grow.
Agree on the humor, Sandra. That's why I love Anne Lamott's work so much.... It truly helps to not take one self, or one's hair, so seriously.
Yeah, the split ends was what made me cut it. I'm glad I did now. In some unexpected way, I appreciate my shame/cultural conditioning around beauty standards came to the surface.... I sometimes forget its there.... Bc today is the hair, tomorrow the weight, the clothes, the wrinkles.... there's no way out of decaying or imperfect bodies... we need to face it, detach from it somehow, or else we'll just be miserable... and its also boring, i feel, to spend so much time thinking about appearance when we could be doing some much more exciting useful things with our lives!
I dont think this essay is superficial at all. It's a cultural disease, this obsession with looks. I love stairs in my head--the essay and the hairstyle. You are beautiful inside and out.
Cultural disease indeed... Thank you, dear Jennifer. For all your support, feedback and encouragement, truly...
this "capillary incident" was extremely enlightening - I'm glad you summoned the anger to resist the cultural conditioning which will come for us all if we let it x
thanks, friend. your feedback has also pushed me to be more honest on the page...
Really enjoyed this Carlota. Very well written
thank you, dear James :)
This is wonderful, authentic writing, Carlota. Even the most self-loving, enlightened among us, I have a feeling, still want to be seen as attractive and still want what they want. I have struggled with this too. I work out regularly and guilt trip myself into eating a pretty rigid diet. I pretend I don’t care about my thinning hairline (at 40) but wonder if there is anything I could be doing differently to combat it. The aging thing is actually crazy. Feel often like I’m stuck between worlds of caring too much and sometimes not at all. I want to give up in the same way the Buddha gave up.
Good to hear from you, friend.
Another part of me wants to be playful with appearances, like a conscious trickster: not take looks seriously and therefore play around with different styles.... so some days buddha, others trickster :p
This topic is so well known to probably most women and it is refreshing to read your heartfelt and sincere struggle and yet at the same time the lightness and humor in it. How to be ...right? I guess having a big portion of humor about our endless rumbling about pretty much everything will help us along the way.
And thank god hair grows back! I can so relate to your hair obsession but unlike you I never had the perfect hair but I am still chasing the dream of waist long thick hair without any split ends - haha - I decided to let it grow anyway...no matter if it is perfect or not... split ends or not... I want long hair, so I let it grow.
Agree on the humor, Sandra. That's why I love Anne Lamott's work so much.... It truly helps to not take one self, or one's hair, so seriously.
Yeah, the split ends was what made me cut it. I'm glad I did now. In some unexpected way, I appreciate my shame/cultural conditioning around beauty standards came to the surface.... I sometimes forget its there.... Bc today is the hair, tomorrow the weight, the clothes, the wrinkles.... there's no way out of decaying or imperfect bodies... we need to face it, detach from it somehow, or else we'll just be miserable... and its also boring, i feel, to spend so much time thinking about appearance when we could be doing some much more exciting useful things with our lives!